i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
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