I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
