Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
