she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Btw I puked in your glovebox
Randomize
