after a month anything with tits is on the radar
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
Randomize
