Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Randomize