ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
Your dad touched me again.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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