I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
Randomize
