The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
Randomize
