we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
Hello my rib-scented angel!
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
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