i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
Randomize
