would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
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