I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Randomize