This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Randomize
