the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
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