totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
