Pregnant stripper...not hot.
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
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