i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
