How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
