it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
Randomize
