shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Randomize
