official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
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