Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
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