Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
Randomize
