what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Randomize
