Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
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