Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
Operation Purity has been aborted
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
Randomize