Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
I'm always down for nudity.
Randomize
