there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
