do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Randomize
