if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
Randomize
