Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
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