maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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