Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
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