I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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