Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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