my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
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