just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
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