shes about as inviting as chlamydia
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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