1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
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