their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
