Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize
