so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
Can I color on your dick again?
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
