I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize
