I'm drive I can fine osifer
i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
