ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
I look better un-naked...
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
not ubering you a puppy
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
Randomize
