i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
Randomize
