I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
Randomize
