in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Randomize
