Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Randomize
