Your mouth is God's brothel.
i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
Little spoons don't ask big questions
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
Randomize
