Girls should come with a carfax report
I am full of burrito and curiosity
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Randomize
