i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Randomize