Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
Randomize
