when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
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