You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize