he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Randomize
