my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Randomize