A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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