I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
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