Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
