the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
Randomize
