How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
