well most of my day revolves around power hour
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
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