After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
