Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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