She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Randomize
