There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
