Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
Randomize
