I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
you have to choose: penises or morals?
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
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