from now on my penis is your penis
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Randomize
