? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
Randomize
