You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Randomize
