That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Randomize
