I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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