it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Randomize
