South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Randomize
