I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
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