i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
