I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
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