At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
he puts the penis in happiness.
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
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