you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
It's official drugs can't kill me
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
Randomize