my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
I wish life had little blips of pornography
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
This couple is walking their pig around campus
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
