Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
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